Dating Protocol

Q: How quickly should I call, text message or email him back?

A: In the same amount of time that you would want him to respond to you! Don’t keep him waiting just to try to establish the upper hand

Q: Do I let the call go into voice mail, even though I know it’s him?

A: If you’re available and he’s phoning at a reasonable hour, take the call. If you’re too busy or rushed or he’s calling too late or too early, return the call later

Q: Do I make him repeat his attempts to contact me?

A: You shouldn’t. But if for some reason you didn’t return his call within a reasonable amount of time and you are still interested, be honest, sincere and apologetic

Q: Will I appear too eager if I tell him that I want to see him again soon?

A: Possibly. If he takes the initiative to ask you out, he's showing interest. Be patient. You want him to know that you have other things going on in your life

Q: How much interest should I demonstrate?

A: You don’t want to be overly enthusiastic initially. He may take advantage of you. If he’s a longtime bachelor, your forwardness may even scare him off

Q: Do I give up “prime time” (weekends) yet for dates?

A: Yes. If he’s willing to do so, you should as well

Q: When I’m dolling up for a first date with a man, should I dress in a conservative or sexy manner?

A: Dress appropriately for the activity and leave as much to the imagination as possible

Q: How do I choose between two men who are interested in me?

A: Go on a Résumé Date (or several) with each and determine who comes out ahead. There is nothing better than having options, and being able to compare

Q: How do I avoid giving up the upper hand without letting him think or know that he is in control?

A: Be yourself and demonstrate reasons why he would want to keep seeing you. The worst thing is to pretend, and him finding out you are not credible

Q: When is it appropriate to invite him back to my place or accept an invitation to his abode?

A: Once you feel comfortable and safe with him

Q: If we go into private quarters, does this send the message that I’m available for intimacy?

A: Not if you clarify that is not your intent. Men typically follow a woman’s lead. But if given the chance, they will try to “push all the right buttons” to move the relationship toward sex

Q: Will a guy’s expectations change after we’ve been intimate?

A: Not usually. It depends on whether he’s looking for Mrs. Right or just casually dating. Don’t expect him to automatically want to be exclusive after you’ve slept together

Q: When do I bring a new man to meet friends, family or colleagues?

A: Once you are confident he will not embarrass you, and you are comfortable enough with him to introduce him to others as a friend or boyfriend

Q: At what point are we classified as an exclusive “boyfriend and girlfriend” couple?

A: This transformation can happen naturally, but more frequently it’s after you’ve had The Talk and established your official status

Nicholas Aretakis, author of Ditching Mr. Wrong: How to End a Bad Relationship and Find Mr. Right.

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