Are You in an Abusive
Domestic violence, also referred as domestic abuse, occurs all too frequently in intimate relationships. Domestic abuse can be verbal, emotional, physical, sexual, or a combination. The victims are mostly women, with approximately four million per year alone affected in the United States. You may be involved with an abuser if your man:
Berates, insults, or intimidates you
Insists on isolating you from friends and family
Strongly discourages you from going to work, school, or social events
Dominates almost every aspect of your life
Controls finances so you have to ask for money
Is jealous or possessive, or accuses you of being unfaithful
Forces you to have intercourse or to accommodate detested sexual demands
Has fits of rage or destroys personal property
Drinks excessively or is involved in substance abuse
Threatens harm to himself or drives recklessly
Grabs you hard, yells at you, or scolds you
Looks at you or acts in ways that scare you
Physically harms or threatens you, your children, or your pets
Blames you for his violent behavior or tells you that you deserve it
Demands abusive behavior is no big deal or even denies doing it
Appears to be a completely different person than you’ve known
Prevents you from calling the police or seeking medical care
Appeals to you to drop potential charges
After such behavior, he apologizes profusely and promises he’ll never repeat what he’s done. The apology may be heartfelt, and you are convinced that this incident is an aberration. After you make up, you may experience a time of exceptional closeness.
You give him a second chance. You don’t want to be alone—and there have been so many good times! You believe that leaving makes you a failure. You’re ashamed to admit you chose a man who treated you this way. You convince yourself you may have overreacted or even imagined the incident, unless you have any physical marks that remind you.
But no rationalization will erase this simple fact: If you’ve experienced any of the above from your man, you have met the ultimate Mr. Wrong, The Abuser.