Top Twenty
Relationship Deal

1. No Prime Time: He’s always busy on Friday and Saturday nights.

2. Nothing in Common: He’s a sports enthusiast, you live for the ballet, and there’s no middle ground.

3. Family Matters: He always has major family obligations or faces significant issues in his family, such as interpersonal strife, mental illness, disease, a disability, or a disorder.

4. Religious Differences: Can you face the possibility of compromising or converting? Can you agree on how to raise children, if desired?

5. Politics: You fundamentally disagree on candidates and ideology.

6. Obsessions: He’s a workaholic, an incessant trainer, and a fanatical enthusiast, and these obsessions take up all his time and mental energy.

7. Bad Habits: He is a slave to cigarettes, drinks excessively, smokes pot regularly, or abuses harder street drugs or prescription medication.

8. History of Bad Habits: A man “in recovery” could relapse.

9. Loner: He has no close friends from home, work, college, high school, team sports, or even the bar scene.


10. Jealousy: If he doesn’t trust you, particularly around other men, it often means that he doesn’t trust himself.

11. Rudeness: He’s impolite to strangers, co-workers, friends, family, or people in the service industry.

12. Poor Hygiene: He has bad breath, body odor, or other forms of poor hygiene.

13. Poor Health: He doesn’t take care of himself and is often ill or tired.

14. Unemployed or Underemployed: He doesn’t work very often, very hard, or at all.

15. Idle Rich: He’s a trust fund baby who seems to have no responsibilities and lacks a value system.

16. Values: He has moral standards you can’t abide, such as his views on abortion or whether a woman should leave the workforce to raise children.

17. Lost: He doesn’t know his purpose or have any direction.

18. Boring: Your mind wanders when it’s his turn to speak.

19. Aesthetically Unpleasing: You find him physically unattractive.

20. Hothead: He has a short fuse and possibly a “chip on his shoulder.”


Nicholas Aretakis, author of Ditching Mr. Wrong: How to End a Bad Relationship and Find Mr. Right.

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