The Gender Divide

Cell phone usage:

W: dial-out, mostly for receiving voice mail or text messaging

M: bilateral use and typically an appendage of the body

Returning e-mails and phone calls:

W: delay so as not to appear overeager, following The Rules

M: whenever they want, or when convenient

TV remote sleep timer:

W: don’t usually know how to use or even locate

M: standard operating procedure after ten p.m.

Movies about sports, violence, westerns, or slapstick comedy:

W: remotely interested, never repeat viewing, prefer a magazine

M: will watch over and over, in part or entirety, reciting key parts

Retail shopping:

W: for fun and bonding with friends, taking their time, browsing

M: out of necessity, typically alone, highly focused speed shopping

Dining out:

W: will never finish all the food on their plate

M: will clean their plate, then take aim at their date’s

Personal grooming:

W: haircut, color, style, manicures, pedicures

M: haircut only when absolutely required


Doctor visits:

W: on a regular basis

M: emergency basis only

Home cleaning services:

W: tidy up prior to house cleaner arriving to avoid sloppy appearance

M: won’t clean up for weeks prior, avoiding even routine maintenance

Pillow talk/bedroom manner/carnal activities:

W: foreplay, sex, talk, hopefully more sex

M: foreplay, sex, uninterrupted sleep


W: looks and style

M: warmth and comfort

Constructive feedback on a woman’s comment, “Does this dress make me look fat?”

W: thinks “yes,” but says, “it’s not flattering to your figure”

M: thinks “your ass makes you look fat,” but states, “it looks okay”

Time required to get ready for a night out:

W: one hour minimum

M: five to fifteen minutes


W: defensively

M: offensively

Online dating:

W: love, companionship, long-term prospects

M: quick candidates, weekend date, short-term rewards



W: get in shape or remain fit, work to squeeze into one-size-smaller outfits, alternative social network

M: relieving competitive juices, bonding with the boys, staying in relative shape


W: dance to the rhythm of the song

M: move to the voices in their head

Decorating abode:

W: monthly, quarterly, or spontaneously

M: move-in and move-out dates

Changing the sheets:

W: weekly or after having guests

M: after someone points out that the top and bottom sheet stick together

Washing towels:

W: every other usage

M: every other month

Decorative pillows:

W: requisite for home décor

M: what are decorative pillows?

Shoe inventory:

W: one pair for each day of the year

M: one pair for each day of the week


W: buy in bulk, thinking only of future requirements

M: buy as needed, thinking only of now


Nicholas Aretakis, author of Ditching Mr. Wrong: How to End a Bad Relationship and Find Mr. Right.

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