The Hot Prospect
Background Check

Make sure he isn’t a convicted felon or sex offender by searching computerized databases or the local county courthouse.

Make sure he is not married or in another (supposedly) committed relationship (see Profile 3: The Disengagement Partier).

Gain some insight into past relationships:

* How long did they last?

* When did his last relationship end?

* Was the breakup amicable?

* Is he over the relationship?

* Do they remain in contact?

Check references:

* Find someone credible who knows him fairly well and mention you’ve gone out with the man in question. Gauge the associate’s reaction. Does he wince or make derogatory comments about The Hot Prospect’s character or how he treats women?

* Learn what he does for a living. Is it something respectable, or something he feels he has to hide? (See “Ditch him if” advice in Profile 1: The Mystery Man.)

Find out his basic religious beliefs and politics.

* Is he a member of a highly controversial religious sect or a political organization?

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Learn a little about his friends, family, and colleagues, spending time with them if possible.

* Is he involved in a gang?

* Are his friends or family serving time in prison or under investigation?

* Law enforcement officials frequently target girlfriends. If he is selling drugs or involved in other criminal activity, you could be seen as an associate.

It’s not easy to wait, and the homework The Hot Prospect Background Check entails can be challenging. But waiting is worth it.

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Nicholas Aretakis, author of Ditching Mr. Wrong: How to End a Bad Relationship and Find Mr. Right.

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