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DIVIDED ALONG PARTY LINES

1 year, 8 months ago

Has the Presidential Election left you asking yourself who you are married to?
October 23, 2008 by Sharon

It’s amazing how politics can turn the meekest, most soft -poken individuals into raging activists. My sister, for example, won’t order a pizza on the phone because she doesn’t want to talk to a stranger. However, she’s currently handing out McCain/Palin T-Shirts. Meantime, my grandmother got into a pro-Obama argument at my baby shower. She didn’t smile throughout the entire event because everyone didn’t agree with her.

So what do you do when your own marriage is divided along the party lines? “If the conversation continually turns hostile, it’s definitely a deal-breaker,” says Nicholas Aretakis, the author of the recently published “Ditching Mr. Wrong: How To End a Bad Relationship and Find Mr. Right.” He includes disagreement on political ideology on a list of 20 relationship deal-breakers, just after religious differences and before bad habits.

Why is it that we want people, especially our loved ones, to agree with us so badly that we’re willing to get into an argument over it?

Todd Farchione, a psychologist and assistant professor at Boston University, says “the degree of conflict a couple feels over differing political viewpoints is related at least partly to how emotional they are about it …. It probably depends on the issues at hand,” says Farchione. “Suddenly an issue may tap into values and one person is saying: Who is this person I married who doesn’t want health care for all?” he says.

To stay off the sofa, Hitchedmag.com offers the following advice to keep your political battles in check.
1. Take emotion out of the conversation.
2. Don’t expect to reach consensus.
3. Agree to disagree.
4. Find common ground. What can you agree on?
5. If you hear a putdown or sarcasm, say, “Ouch! That sounds like a putdown.”
6. Own your feelings.
7. Remember you’re talking to someone you love.
8. It’s okay to pause the conversation.
9. You may not get closure.
10. Debrief later.

Or … my advice would be to avoid the subject altogether and remember all of the reasons why you love your spouse. Fortunately, the election will be over in less than 2 weeks. Your marriage is supposed to last forever.

- Read The Original Article Here