Is Two better than One?
7 months, 3 weeks agoYPSILANTI, Mi- “ Sometimes it seems easier just because you know you have someone there to help at anytime and you always have someone to lean on and it is kind of lonely now but being single I have a lot more time to hang with all of my friends so I guess you could call that an upside if there is one.”
Pat Cunningham is a student at Northern Michigan University who recently just got out of a three-year relationship with his high school sweet heart. Cunningham’s ex girlfriend, Ashley, recently dumped him for a boy closer to home, and Cunningham like many others is feeling the pressure of being single.
In discussion Cunningham has said that the break up has affected him greatly, he has trouble sleeping, cannot focus on school, and whenever his ex wants to talk to him he drops everything, she is still his main priority. It seems as if rather than living life, and looking to the future as his priority, being in a relationship, or the lack there of has become his main priority. “ I have noticed that since I became single lots of people that would not normally have now gotten girlfriends and I feel that most of the time a relationship that starts in high school or early in college will not last, but I am sure there are exceptions,” stated Cunningham.
Our generation has become obsessed with the idea of being in a relationship, and depressed and misunderstood if one has chosen the single life. It seems as if students have lost the focus on the family and their individual future, and feel that the idea of two is better than one. It is at this time that people seem to be grasping at straws and settling for whatever comes along, even if the person is not a good match. Nicholas Aretakis came to Eastern Michigan University in November 2009. Aretakis is world-renowned author, and most recently famous for his book, Ditching Mr. Wrong. “It is not about proving that all men are bad. Quite the contrary. It is about helping women hone their mate selection skills and keep poor candidates from dominating their schedules and their lives,” states Aretakis in his book.
Aretakis has witnessed over the past few years the dilemma that the female has been facing, in trying to find such relationships. Women are clearly feeling pressured (from society and their biological clock) to find the right male, but easily become distressed and stay in unhealthy relationships. Aretakis wrote his book to help all, focus on the qualities they need to in life, to keep their future in motion, and find a good life partner. From a young age media has told children of the world, that there is a prince out there for the girl who will come on his white stallion and sweep her off her feet. That he will rescue her from all the pain, and trouble in the world, and they will in turn live happily ever after.
This simple little storybook ending, has given many girls a misguided notion of what will happen in their future. Media has given girls a false hope from their early years that a boy will come and save them, and that just isn’t the case. It goes on in the future with the books that are distributed, Twilight for example, and the countless “ chick flicks” that are released year after year. It seems as if this media induced idea, has begun to actually affect the mind-set of the young female. We live in a harsh cruel world, with a war, and economic crisis gripping our nation, and divorce rates on the rise, there is no time to be caught up in a fairy tale. Why not focus on you as an individual, rather than focusing on becoming a pair before discovering you as an individual. This idea could work for anyone in search of a relationship, or trying to fill that void in his or her life. It seems as thought he students here at Eastern Michigan, whether straight, gay, bisexual, male or female all feel the pressure to be in a relationship, or feel that it will make their lives easier. Of course there is the other side of the story the desperate love hunter compared to that of the story of the hopelessly in love.
“I have found the one person I want to spend the rest of my life with.” Brittany Hnevsa a 20-year-old student at Lansing Community College stated about her three-year boyfriend Matt Pokorny. Hnevsa and Pokorny are some of the brave few who are trying to make a long distance military relationship work, and are ready for that next step in their relationship; marriage. So while much of the youth does jump right into an early marriage without considering the consequences, what about those in a serious relationship. Those who believe like Hnevsa that they have found their true love and that it will all work out no mater what. “ When both people have the same love, strength, faith, and trust in God it helps them get through it so much more, because they know that even though they are alone they are really not alone because God is always there, keeping them strong,” states Hnevsa. The questions such people need to ask is, why then with this strength, and true love can they not wait to take that step until after college and hopefully becoming financially stable?
[Marriage and babies seem to be on the mind of girls around the world, and the question is why so young? Why is relationships and growing up so fast becoming such a big pressure? ] < QUESTION REMAINS TO BE ANSWERED BY THE INTERVIEW WITH THE EASTERN MICHIGAN COUNSELING SERVICES.
The hardest part of this situation is either you’re growing up to fast, or you are dealing with the depression that is the consequence of being single. There is an outside pressure to be in a relationship, and sure it is nice to have someone there, but why is it pressured that we must pair off and follow suit so soon. Why is it not enough to hang out with your friends on a Friday night and watch movies, why does it become awkward when there is a couple in the room, and one becomes less adequate as a single individual. Does it take being with someone to make one feel worthwhile?
