The Mooch
I have been a successful business woman, but contributing most of my savings to my family. I decided to pare down my work schedule to focus more on my personal life. I met a charming yet struggling home builder who was economically challenged. On the third date, I discovered that he was married but wasn’t in love. I was already “hooked”. He finally divorced and moved in with me, encouraging me to work a full time job, since we needed more money. He became abusive, started drinking and smoking dope. I thought if I became “more perfect”, things would get better.
I hired a life coach, and worked on establishing “boundaries”, particularly when he became abusive. Through coaching (> 6 months), I found that this relationship was not salvageable. I made a list of all the qualities that I wanted for the next relationship: honesty, commitment, wanting children, steady income, not a dependent. I ultimately wasted several years on this man, but at least I am still young enough to meet a better prospect and have kids.
